Give and Take A Revolutionary Approach to Success
There are 3 types of people: Givers, Takers & Matchers.
- Takers like to get more than they give, putting their own interests ahead of others'
- Givers are more focused on the best interests of others
- Matchers adopt a middle-ground, striving for an equal balance of giving and getting
Interestingly, Givers are most likely to end up at the bottom of the success ladder. Why? Because they give too much of their time and effort helping others.
So who's at the top? Here's a surprise - it's the Givers again.
If you examine the link between reciprocity styles and success, Givers come out on top in virtually every case. It's because they're better at Networking, Collaborating, Evaluating, and Influencing.
Networking: Givers tend to share their knowledge and help out without worrying about what's in it for them, so most people are happy to be in their company and help them when given the chance.
Collaborating: Givers use interdependence to harness the skills of multiple people for a greater good.
Evaluating: Givers do a better job because they don't just focus on their own
Influencing: There are two fundamental paths to influence: dominance and prestige. Takers like gaining dominance. Givers seek to build prestige. But research shows that prestige is more effective.
Why? Instead of dictating, Givers ask questions and listen to answers, which shows they genuinely care. This builds prestige so others come to respect, admire and follow them.
While Givers are more successful, remember that they're also more likely to end up at the bottom - so don't be too giving. Avoid this pitfall by setting limits. Research shows that two hours of Giving on the job per week is the sweet spot for make a meaningful difference without sacrificing other priorities.
By Adam M. Grant